DVDon't

We bought a DVD the other day.

Solveig was in Sainsbury's and saw Thomas And The Magic Railroad* was on offer for four quid, so she picked one up for the kids. Upon arrival, she (or more probably Theo) popped it into the DVD player and pressed PLAY. Nothing happened. She ejected it, blew off any dust and had another go. Nowt. Just the dreaded "Loading..." icon in the top right corner of the screen. Cue disappointed kids and the return of Peppa Pig to our screens.

We took it back and exchanged it, assuming the disc was faulty in some way. But the replacement was exactly the same, refusing even to load the disc, let alone actually play. Short of believing there was a batch of discs with a manufacturing defect, I was curious to see if the disc would work in a computer drive, rather than our standard domestic DVD player. So I popped it into a laptop and it worked fine. No other DVDs have ever failed to work in the normal player. Weird.

Figuring that making a copy of something that doesn't actually work wouldn't really be breaking any laws, I set to with ripping it. Obviously it has the latest copy protection; not a massive problem, there are ways and means. Less than an hour later, we have a working copy of the film which runs perfectly in the DVD player and the kids are happy.

But what kind of industry cripples its media so much that a standard domestic player cannot even read it? And isn't that now the opposite of the problem we used to have with CDs, whereby copy-protected discs wouldn't play in PC data drives but were fine in regular audio CD players?

Somebody somewhere needs to have a damned good think...

* dreadful Americanised 'Polar Express'-lite set on Sodor - don't bother :)

What To Watch?

I need your help.

My wife is going away for a bit with the kids shortly (don't worry, they're coming back!) and I shall have around two weeks on my own in the house. Now one thing I am very bad at, apart from putting my socks in the laundry basket, is watching films. So this is a perfect opportunity to catch up - but of the hundreds of possibilities out there, where to start?

In my forthcoming 'man-time', and allowing for football matches, beer consumption as well as actually still having to go to work, I reckon a target of half a dozen good films is not unreasonable. They're probably going to be ones that Solveig won't be bothered about and I'll save any animated films to watch with the kids but other than that I have free rein. I think I'd like to see 'Inglourious Basterds' and I'm fairly sure I don't want to bother with 'The Road' but after that I'm open to suggestions.

What would you watch on your own in the house? Suggest away!

EOTW #8

Like a rat up an aqueduct, here's Week 8 of the Grazia-endorsed* Euphemisms Of The Week, and it's been a bumper one (or perhaps I've been on Twitter more than usual, if that's possible within the confines of the existing laws of space and time...)

Recently observed on the web of shame:

• Buying turmeric in Brussels
• Unblocking the Hoover hose
• Advertising Anne Widdicombe’s pasta
• Coming across John Craven in the video shop
• Naming the Bay City Rollers

More to follow...

* no, not really.

EOTW #7

What's the best euphemism for nasty stomach bug? Ach. Erp. Ick. Oof. Ugh.

Anyway, here we go for Week 7 of the Vogue-championed* Euphemisms Of The Week, and they're still rolling in like the mist from the sea on the Mull Of Kintyre, or something equally tenuous.

Recently observed on the web of shame:

• Tolerating the Bismarck
• Sniffing the bud of the caper bush
• Drinking from the Spanish cup
• Re-hanging the girlfriend's washing
• Playing a tune on the mango banjo

More to follow...

* no, not really.

Department Stored

Following a random conversation on Twitter, Chris Addison mentioned that his excellent Radio 4 comedy show from 2004-06 'The Department' wasn't available to buy on CD/MP3 anywhere. Which seemed ridiculous, but following intensive research shockingly turns out to be true.

Now, given that we are heading inexorably towards a General Election, I reckon this would be the perfect time to broadcast it again, given the splendidly targeted political ridicule, cutting-edge satire and healthy dose of the absurd (Peter Beardsley and Slobodan Miloševic drawing the next round of inter-continental wars out of a bag, anyone?) contained therein.

With co-writers/performers the brilliant (and Bugle-producing) John Oliver and Andy Zaltzman, you should definitely give it a(nother) listen.

Although as they're not available any more, I guess you'd have to do that 'illegally' by downloading a torrent of the shows from somewhere. Ahem.

Bunch Of Twapps

Having recently bitten the Apple and got an iPhone, I thought I'd bung any old Twitter app (twapp?) on it and be up and running, happily advising the world of the exciting cheese & pickle dilemma which might befall me in Pret of a Tuesday lunchtime.

Not so.

You can plump for Twitterrific, TweetDeck, TwitBird, Tweetie, Twittelator, Echofon (which rather surprisingly doesn't begin with T but was previously called TwitterFon, so that's OK) and a whole host of others which don't appear on the first couple of pages of search results.

But which one?

Reviews abound on the interweb declaring their undying love for each, and slagging off the competition. Perhaps most people just get used to the first one they try and can't be bothered to change. But that's boring, so I'm going to try them all.

Simultaneously.

For a period of two weeks, every time I go to check Twitter on the iPhone, I'm going to use a different one of the above six apps, in strict rotation so they get a similar amount of face time. To be fair, I have installed the free versions of each, so no paid-for functionality can muddy the waters. The settings will be identical and they all support the same photo-sharing and link-shortening services. At the end of the fortnight, I should know which ones I've looked forward to using and been most 'tweetful' (ahem) and to which I've given a little sigh and been as quick as I could.

Maybe there are magic features you can't live without, or perhaps it's all about speed of use and a clean interface, but at the very least I'll have my Twitter app (which I'm sure everyone will then tell me is "the wrong one"...)

Geek out.

EOTW #6

On to Week 6 of the TLS-lauded* Euphemisms Of The Week and we're bang up to date now. So it turns out that Twitter is a rich seam of snigger-inducing phraseology. Who knew? Oh, you all did. Right.

Recently observed on the web of shame:

• Christening the muffin pan
• Buying specialist table sauces
• Falling over in George Michael's back garden
• Springing a leak in the cafetiere
• Getting coronation chicken all over the desk

More to follow...

* no, not really.

Recycling

Genuinely laughed-out-loud on the 0633 to London Bridge today, at this from one of the 'Adam & Joe' Twelve Podacsts Of Christmas:

Joe: "So, 'Nil By Mouth' - a real tour de force."

Adam (as Ray Winstone*): "Yeah, well I've always liked cycling, the bikes and all that, love it..."

I may have woken some people up with my guffawing. Sorry about that.

* because he had a cold, obviously

Font Of All Knowledge

That nice Mr Andronov pointed me at typekit just now.

Bit of javascript in the of the template, pick a font (or two) and which tags you want to use it and blam! New look for blog (in compatible browsers, obviously, but if you're not using one you should be :) and you can tweak it - live - to your heart's content.

Love it.

Overheard #104

I even know who this was about. Scary.

"Did you see her office? Could you smell her?"

EOTW #5

Week 5 of Euphemisms Of The Week is upon us with some beauties this time round (must have been the influence of Valentine's Day :)

Recently observed on the web of shame:

• Receiving a haggis in the post
• Folding a Kemp
• Taking helicopter shots of The Gherkin
• Playing cricket in Surbiton
• Getting cheese on the Korg

More to follow...

Dry It (You Might Like It)

They do not call me 'Mr Fashion'; this much I know.

However, I would like to share an excellent brand of clothing and stuff - which I'm sure all the cool kids gave up in 2007 - which I have suddenly found to be 'most excellent':

Superdry

So I've been looking for a lightweight coat, sort-of waterproof and with a hood, but not too 'mountaineer' because altitude-wise I don't venture much higher than Blythe Hill Park. Oh, look?

Also, I really could do with a new winter coat, definitely wool but perhaps some kind of pea-coat style but not too long or grey. What's that you say?

And actually I'm probably in need of a new sweatshirt with a bit of colour but no crazy-ass logos all over the shop. Really?

It's simply great. And, presumably, dry. Although quite what this chap has got to look so grumpy about, I have no idea.

Er, right, sorry about that. Advertorial over, your regular programming will continue shortly :)

Happy Hour

I think I may have invented a new cocktail.

Double Moskovskaya vodka + shot of Calpol + cube of ice + twist of flamed orange.

I'm calling it a 'cBeebies'.

Remember: please drink responshiblzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....

EOTW #4

And onwards we march with Week 4 of Euphemisms Of The Week

Recently observed on the web of shame:

• Spotting a pea in the wine
• Tucking into a melon basket
• Warming up the butter in a pocket
• Finding a chocolate under the expenses pile
• Rationing the spiced apple Febreeze

More to follow...

Danny Boy

If you don't already, I urge you to listen to the Danny Baker show on Five Live. Obviously 9-11 on a Saturday morning might not be amenable to most people, but the podcast doesn't half light up a grey drizzly February commute. Currently loving the Roman numeral footballers feature (VIDIC!) and of course the ever present 'Sausage Sandwich Game'. A couple of hours of irreverent fun of a vaguely sporting nature, all held together with Danny's infectious enthusiasm for the absurd. Worth checking out.

Pressing Question

Looks like Blogger has got a bit bored with supporting externally-hosted blogs (like mine) over FTP. According to the press release:

"FTP remains a significant drain on our ability to improve Blogger: only 0.5% of active blogs are published via FTP — yet the percentage of our engineering resources devoted to supporting FTP vastly exceeds that."

Understandable I suppose, but which way forward? Probably a good opportunity to have a look at Wordpress publishing (I've also got a Tumblr thing running with a feed from here but that's a whole different kettle of ballgames).

However, Solveig's used to the Blogger way so I guess we will port hers to be a Google-hosted 'Custom Domain' - she'll also then get access to the fancy sidebar widgets which might be a boon.

Anyway, between now and mid-March, expect to see some changes around here, not least with the RSS feed, the commenting system and probably the design.

Ah well, any excuse for a tinker :)

Stuffie?

I blipped this, but it's worth pushing again.

Uffie + Starkey = Massssssssssive tune.

EOTW #3

Blimey, Week 3 of Euphemisms Of The Week rolled round so fast, I missed it yesterday...

Recently observed on the web of shame:

• Tucking a Bentley behind the Range Rover
• Getting out the Euro Disney brochure
• Eating a jazz apple
• Riding the drama llama
• Overestimating the size of the wheelhouse

More to follow...

Red Hot Poker Face

Played real live poker with real live people last night for the first time in years. Six of us round at Paul's house, proper green baize with casino-standard chips & cards plus beer & pizza galore, football on in the background and men being men. It was brilliant, not least because I came away with a tidy profit and didn't have to pawn one of the children :)

Hopefully we can do it again soon but for the moment, here's Nick "Crafty Butcher" Hughes, who cleaned out at least two of the others in some tense 'all-in' action, in full-on WSOP mode:

Thank You For The Days

Just back from a wonderful weekend away; a birthday treat from my excellent wife Solveig (in conjunction with the as-per-usual top-notch babysitting services provided by mum & dad, for which much thanks are due).

Having nipped off early on Friday afternoon and taken the appropriate exit off the M4 (indeed, we had to Turn After Reading*), we headed for the picturesque Goring-on-Thames in which nestles The Miller Of Mansfield, as recommended on Mr & Mrs Smith. Really nice little 'boutique' pub hotel with a fantastic restaurant (do try the shin of beef, it was as melty as it gets) as well as a snug bar with a log fire and a decent selection of gins. We realised when we arrived that we had somehow forgotten how to relax; indeed, it took a while for us to stop wondering where on earth the kids were. But unwind we did and with some walks along the (thin end of the) Thames and a trip up to Bicester on the Saturday, it was a properly brilliant break from the Smoke.

Due to good planning, we also squeezed in an extra treat on the way back, in the form of a visit to Heston Blumenthal's pub in Bray, the Hind's Head (in fact, as we were a bit early, we went looking for the Fat Duck, but somehow never found it!) and what a treat it was. We were tempted by the Sunday roast, but both decided on pies, having been advised by a few people that they were worth the journey. We did start with a Scotch (quail's) egg each, though, and these were splendid - by turns crispy, meaty and perfectly soft:

For our mains we had Shepherds Pie (with lamb leg, breast and sweetbreads topped with mustard mash) and Spinach & Mushroom Pie (served with a Jerusalem artichoke sauce). They were both outstanding and tasted as good as they look:

After a full weekend of indulgence, we simply couldn't face dessert, so we'll just have to go back and try the rest of the menu at some point. Right, dear?

Anyway, what a brilliant weekend - almost enough to make me forget that next year is THAT ONE :)

* I'm truly sorry, I really am