Red Hot Poker Face

Played real live poker with real live people last night for the first time in years. Six of us round at Paul's house, proper green baize with casino-standard chips & cards plus beer & pizza galore, football on in the background and men being men. It was brilliant, not least because I came away with a tidy profit and didn't have to pawn one of the children :)

Hopefully we can do it again soon but for the moment, here's Nick "Crafty Butcher" Hughes, who cleaned out at least two of the others in some tense 'all-in' action, in full-on WSOP mode:

At Home With Fourstar

My good friend Alex recently posted the following question over at his blog:

What is your favorite "at home" phrase?

and it led me to think about the nonsense I spout on a semi-daily basis. Now I have distinctly different "at home" and "at work" phrases (as should everyone...) but for the purposes of this exercise, there is one Pharaoh of phrases, an Excalibur of exclamations, the Prince of proclamations, which is:

"Everyone's a winner, petit dejeuner"

Back in the heady days when I used to play sax in a touring soul covers band, we shared the stage with two of the most hilarious guys I have ever met. Tony (trombone) and Shaun (guitar) had known each other for years and had such a natural rapport they could easily have been working the clubs as a double act. They would have the tour bus in stitches at their tales of derring do and natural affinity for the absurd, which lifted the spirits of those humour-sapping drives across, say, for example, to pick somewhere totally at random, Lincolnshire.

However, whenever something went particularly well (which could be anything ranging from a well-paid gig in Dublin to a delicious sausage roll from a Sunderland truckstop), without fail Shaun would exclaim "Everyone's a winner!" always followed closely by Tony's rejoinder of "Petit dejeuner!".

Now quite why a French breakfast should be the epitome of delight for two jobbing musicians from York, I have no idea - and I'm not sure they did either. However, it stuck with me and to this day, when something goes well at work or at home, this is the line I come out with.

Overheard #102

One of our field operatives phoned this one in:

"...so is it coming out a greeney colour?"

I think we'd rather not know.

This Is Ian

Just an average Thursday, chez Antonia:

click to view

From the ever-wonderful 'Wondermark' by David Malki.

Change 31

Today's change was dificult to choose, as there were two.

We went over to a bar in deepest, darkest West London this afternoon to say adios to Dan and Mishka, who are moving to Seville next week. It was worth the schlep through the traffic as there were quite a few people we hadn't seen for ages, good food, the footie was on and Freyja was in a terriffic mood, generally being hilarious, entertaining all the adults, charming all the bar staff and scoffing all the chips. But that's really a massive change for them so I am more inclined to go for the discovery that our local pub, The Honor Oak, has just started doing Saturday brunch. On the spur of the moment this morning, we decided to brave the cold and walk over the hill to sample it. I am so glad we did; I had literally the best sausages* I have ever eaten, alongside wonderful thick cut bacon and some crispy black pudding.

I think we may go every week.

* apparently from a local butcher called Peter James, which we will be checking out forthwith!

Wilshere Class

This is rapidly turning into a football blog. Sorry about that, but the quality of some/most/all of Arsenal's youngsters last night was breathtaking. 

Arsenal 3 - 0 Wigan

Five English players were in the starting line-up, one of whom was 16-year-old Jack Wilshere who once again impressed. Direct, with poise under pressure, the ability to ride a tackle and a keen eye for a through ball, he provided the eye-of-a-needle pass for Simpson's first goal. As Gunnerblog said,

"Fabio Capello was in the crowd last night, and I doubt it was to watch Titus Bramble."

which made me laugh a lot. 

It was the usual £10/£5 tickets so myself, Paul, Jenny and PJ joined a full-house Emirates (over 59,000 for a mid-week Carling Cup game?!!) and watched as the little scamps took Wigan to pieces, with Ramsey impressing again in midfield, Djourou a rock in defence and Vela scoring another sublime chip:

A word too for Fabianski who produced a close-range double save of the highest order near the end to deny De Ridder and then Zaki a consolation goal. 

So the quarter-final draw is on Saturday. Who's next for the kids - Spurs again?

Overheard #58

I forget the context, but we were in Brighton:

"It was like a slightly hoarse goth. Or a slightly goth horse.

Overheard #46

Tales from the bleeding edge of nu meejah:

"He is basically the world's most unanimated Flash developer."

Overheard #45

What goes in Vegas, stays in Vegas:

"So Mindy? If I'm standing, I'm drinking..."

Overheard #44

An impromptu sports day, possibly on the South Coast:

"Come on fatty, hurry up and start jumping!"

A Bit Of A Push To Get Through In One Sitting*

One for Antonia's bookshelf. The reviews are, er, insightful:

Amazon Reviews for 'Penetrating Wagner's Ring' (Da Capo Paperback)

* yes, that was mine; I'm very very sorry...

Overheard #37

And so to picturesque Hertford and its dictionary/mammal dichotomy:

"You can't go wrong with an aardvark."

Tache The Way Uh Huh, Uh Huh

This has Shengsters and G.R.A.C.C. written all over it.

Moustache Me

"What that advert needs is a good moustaching..."

Overheard #35

A kitchen in North London:

"He'll probably stagger home with someone dressed as a large Brie."
"You'd better watch out; they'll be after a fromage á trois..."

*applause*

Gormanuary?

Casually (and if truth be told, somewhat foggily) perusing my many and varied RSS feeds this morning, I stumbled on this:

01/01/08 - Dave Gorman: Problem Solving

Which suddenly reminded me rather a lot of this:

01/01/07 - Gamboling: So the pope hasn't called me back

Coincidence? Alex, fancy giving Dave a call...

Overheard #NYE

Happy New Year to you too.

Am I Brian from Westlife?
I'd pay good money for a glitterball Death Star.
To be honest, I'd rather have Gary.
I am enjoying some cheese - for once in my life, without being hassled.

Doug. A Life In Pictures.

xkcd #353

Now Wii Am The Master

I don't own a Wii. But I know a man who does, don't I Paul? What do you want for Christmas, mate?

Wii light saber attachment + Lego Star Wars = Geek heaven!!

Makin' Woopie*

Coo, it must be Antonia week:

Woopie* Infant Cushion Costume

Those merkins do go a bit bonkers at Hallowe'en, don't they...hang on, that lobster looks rather familiar!

* (sic) - obviously the delicious irony of that spelling error is not lost on me.

P.S. Solveig - can we get this for Freyja....nana....nana....nana....nana....

Soliloquy To An Anonymous Audience

You know how I feel about it, but Alice Mathias puts it thus:

The Fakebook Generation

"We might feel invulnerable in the spotlight, but we don’t want to be caught sitting in someone else’s audience."

Guess The Weight #2

So, talking of offspring, in case anyone was not yet aware, Solveig is pregnant again! And what do we do to celebrate this wonderful news?

We gamble.

Last time, I ran a small sweepstake for people to guess the date, weight and sex of the bump that was Freyja (22 Dec 2005 / 6 lb 10 oz / girl) and this time will be no different.

Apart from the technology.

I've set up an online form for people to submit their guesses (powered by DabbleDB in case you were interested) with automagically updating list and calendar views (there may even be a fancy chart soon).

Good luck! There's a bottle of champagne for the winner...

Cat Sheet?

From the always intriguing strange maps comes:

Number 164 - A Cat’s Map of the Bed

(for Antonia, mostly)

It's A Shoe In

In response to Andy's post about trainers:

I can talk, I'm still looking for the original limited-edition adidas ZX-500 in slate grey and sky blue with the red heel guard trim...

Quorn, My Son

Interesting article in theGuardian about the meat/veg dichotomy amongst couples:

How to have meat with your veg

I'm thinking of Chris & Helena primarily - anyone else want to own up?

Doyouthinkhesaurus?

After lunch at Alex & Kat's new house down in Gipsy Hill yesterday, we decided to walk off all that excellent coq-au-vin with a stroll in the afternoon sunshine (surely "light drizzle" - Met Ed.) and took Freyja down to see Crystal Palace Park. On the way, there was some crazy talk regarding Victorian dinosaurs and, after meandering past the remains of the 1851 Great Exhibition building (which unfortunately burnt down in 1936) lo and behold, there they were:

Quite bizarre but really rather splendid. Apparently, the sculptor once took tea inside one of the beasts but ended his days as an invalid in the Debtor's Prison. Fascinating stuff.

And Freyja, true to form, slept all the way round :)

(Thanks once again to AutoStitch for the automagic panoramic photo)

Raisin The Bar

Without further ado, here is the result of the 2006/7 Christmas Cake-Off.

The two finalists (Rowan & Antonia) were judged in four distinct categories:

1. Moisticity (how crumbly or otherwise was the cake?)
   
2. Booziness (was the alcohol content detectable?)
   
3. Marzipanity (what was the complexity of the almond layer?)
   
4. Cheddarism (how well did the item work with cheese?)

The judges were unanimous in their praise for Antonia's moist entry and she comfortably won the first round. She also scored highly in the second category, with a number of larger fruit items surprising the judges with their alcohol content. However, it became apparent that Rowan's marzipan was made from scratch and this was evident in its subtle almond overtones; round three to her. Finally, the cakes were sampled alongside a thick wedge of extra-mature cheddar and, after some animated debate, this round was awarded to Rowan as well.

And so the inaugural Christmas Cake-Off has ended in an honourable DRAW, with 'highly-commended' rosettes winging their way to Acomb and Stockwell respectively. Many thanks to both participants for their efforts and they can rest reassured that all Tupperware will be returned very soon. The judges will now be on a diet until around September, when they might start thinking about Cake-Off II: The Revenge...

London Bloggers Do It On The Tube (But Mostly Standing Up)

I think this is a great idea. London-based blogs arranged by stations on the Underground and Rail network:

I now know that I share the Honor Oak Park blogosphere with the thoughtful BobFromBrockley, a self-confessed confused 22-year-old medical student and the writer of an as-yet-unpublished book about a fictional Victorian landscape gardener.

Bravo, everyone. Why not join us...

Five of things

OK, if you insist - five things you may not know about me:

1. I used to be on an elite panel of chocolate tasters for Rowntrees (now Nestlé) in York.
2. From 1974-1976, my family lived in a house on stilts in Port Moresby, Papua New Guinea.
3. I am allergic to nickel (and therefore also anti-single EU currency).
4. Aged 11, I unknowingly played in goal for the first half of a football match with a broken arm.
5. I once had a girlfriend who dumped me for Hunter from 'Gladiators'.

Comments welcome! And with that, I hereby tag Alex, Ian and Helena:

(Seems it is also the done thing to reference the originator of the meme)

Mmmm, cake

Hurrah! Just received Antonia's contribution for the Cake-Off (addressed to the "Cake Assessment Unit", much to the amusement of our post-room). So it's off to M&S for some extra-mature cheddar to have with hers (below left) and Rowan's (below right):

The Final Of The Official 2006 Christmas Cake-Off

-V-

Results to be announced at a special presentation dinner to be held at Claridges, with special guests Barry Chuckle, Shergar and Jade Goody.

Tempus fugit

Good lord, how time flies. Over a month since I last posted. Admittedly, it was a fairly quiet month - or so I thought until I started writing this.

• There was the work curry night at Bengal Village in Brick Lane which was great fun and ended somewhat drunkenly in the Big Chill Bar (the suits looking somewhat incongruous amongst the asymmetric hair and day-glo legwarmers)
• There was Antonia's mini baby shower followed by Antonia's mini baby arriving. Woot. Well done you (and Ian, of course - welcome to sad Dad land...)
• There was my knee going pop* (again) which meant an MRI scan and a jolly nice BUPA consultant advising keyhole surgery on the flappy bit of cartilage causing all the trouble
• There was a quantity of beer with Doug in a splendid little bar tucked away near King's Cross (no, not that type of bar)
• There was my first visit to the fantastic Emirates Stadium for the disappointing 0-0 draw with CSKA Moscow where, despite an astonishing 24 (twenty four!) shots at goal, we failed to hit the target. Cow, arse & banjo...
• There was a 70s party at Alex & Kat's excellent new house in the WestCrystalGipsyNorwoodHillPalace area where despite wearing that shirt, I was trumped in the fashion stakes by Alex's brother Pete (or is it Nick :)

And suddenly it's November...

* in fact it was more of a craaaskeeeuurrrgle sound but you get the idea...

sprogs++

Well. Not only did we get a last-minute surprise visit from usually-Oz-resident Best Man Fiskin and his lovely wife Katie, it turns out that they've only gone and done the whole bun -> oven thing as well. Brilliant! Due in May apparently. Bravo and that :)